If you haven't seen the TED talks, watch this now. It's Chris Abani, an African writer talking about his experiences in Nigerian prison and growing up with his British mother in Africa. Only watch out if you have mascara on. I love it when men are feminists.
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Web Misogyny
I'm sure that this-Men who hate women on the Web | Salon- is old news to most of you, but I just wanted to point out that misogyny directed at female writers on the web isn't what we should be focusing on. These incidents are just the tip of the f*cking iceberg when it comes to hatred of and violence against women in this country. True, these guys on the web feel free to say whatever crap comes into their heads because they can hide, but that is what is allowing us to see a bit of what is going on in their f*cked up minds.
On the other side, I am so frustrated that intelligent, successful women like Joan Walsh are still questioning whether or not they should respond or get upset when this kind of crap happens. These guys aren't going to stop just because we ignore them. This country needs to face up to the problem instead of hiding or minimizing it.
On the other side, I am so frustrated that intelligent, successful women like Joan Walsh are still questioning whether or not they should respond or get upset when this kind of crap happens. These guys aren't going to stop just because we ignore them. This country needs to face up to the problem instead of hiding or minimizing it.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Gender Confusion
This piece, "Two Families Grapple with Sons' Gender Preferences : NPR", on NPR pushed gender issues into the front of my brain again this week. Listening to the radio this afternoon I was struck by the parent's stories. How difficult it must be for them to find that their child, at two or three, cannot accept the gender role assigned to him/her. Knowing that your child might face a lifetime of discrimination and violence, what would you do?
When I was a little, little girl my parents did their best to raise me without gender biases. Despite this, I loved frilly pink dresses, fairies, and princesses. My grandparents and other kids didn't help, but since we didn't watch TV at home I can't really blame the media. It wasn't until junior high that I grew out of my girly-ness.
In college a good friend of mine was a cross-dresser. Antioch was probably one of the few places in the country where a trans-gendered person could be out without (much) fear. Still, I was too embarrassed to really talk to him about it. When he hit on me or my other women friends I just felt confused. I had no issue with friends who were gay or lesbian or bi, but I didn't "get" his identity.
These issues get really confusing. For example, last week at a party some folks were discussing the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival and Osento Bathhouse. Apparently the Womyn's music festival only allows "womyn born womyn" to perform meaning that transgendered male to female performers aren't welcome but transgendered female to male performers are allowed. Osento on the other hand permits male to female transgendered patrons, which makes some other female patrons uncomfortable.
All of this still confuses me. How can someone who is two be confused about his/her gender? Could the desire to be a girl arise from some trauma? From the recognition that the way that men are socialized in this culture leaves many men disconnected from their emotions and unable to connect with other humans? Or are some people born with an innate desire to wear frilly pink dresses? Can anyone talk us out of this desire? My parents certainly couldn't.
Update: NPR has more on this today. Now transgendered teens can choose to get hormone treatments that allow them to fit in better as adults. Never having gone through puberty in the opposite gender, as adults they are more like other people of their chosen gender. Somehow this comforts me, and yet I wonder how much of this has to do with the need or desire to hide one's transgendered-ness. Could more acceptance help transgendered people feel comfortable with their in-between-ness?
As a woman who doesn't fit the idealized image of what women should be, I wonder about transgendered male to female people and their desire to fit that mold. My college friend tended to wear make-up, high-heals, and short skirts much more than my hippy women friends. As a young woman I felt a lot of pressure to "fit in," yet in some ways my transgender friend stood out as more feminine than the women she was friends with. I hope we were both "being ourselves" and not bowing to outside pressures or internal anxieties about who we "should" be.
When I was a little, little girl my parents did their best to raise me without gender biases. Despite this, I loved frilly pink dresses, fairies, and princesses. My grandparents and other kids didn't help, but since we didn't watch TV at home I can't really blame the media. It wasn't until junior high that I grew out of my girly-ness.
In college a good friend of mine was a cross-dresser. Antioch was probably one of the few places in the country where a trans-gendered person could be out without (much) fear. Still, I was too embarrassed to really talk to him about it. When he hit on me or my other women friends I just felt confused. I had no issue with friends who were gay or lesbian or bi, but I didn't "get" his identity.
These issues get really confusing. For example, last week at a party some folks were discussing the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival and Osento Bathhouse. Apparently the Womyn's music festival only allows "womyn born womyn" to perform meaning that transgendered male to female performers aren't welcome but transgendered female to male performers are allowed. Osento on the other hand permits male to female transgendered patrons, which makes some other female patrons uncomfortable.
All of this still confuses me. How can someone who is two be confused about his/her gender? Could the desire to be a girl arise from some trauma? From the recognition that the way that men are socialized in this culture leaves many men disconnected from their emotions and unable to connect with other humans? Or are some people born with an innate desire to wear frilly pink dresses? Can anyone talk us out of this desire? My parents certainly couldn't.
Update: NPR has more on this today. Now transgendered teens can choose to get hormone treatments that allow them to fit in better as adults. Never having gone through puberty in the opposite gender, as adults they are more like other people of their chosen gender. Somehow this comforts me, and yet I wonder how much of this has to do with the need or desire to hide one's transgendered-ness. Could more acceptance help transgendered people feel comfortable with their in-between-ness?
As a woman who doesn't fit the idealized image of what women should be, I wonder about transgendered male to female people and their desire to fit that mold. My college friend tended to wear make-up, high-heals, and short skirts much more than my hippy women friends. As a young woman I felt a lot of pressure to "fit in," yet in some ways my transgender friend stood out as more feminine than the women she was friends with. I hope we were both "being ourselves" and not bowing to outside pressures or internal anxieties about who we "should" be.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Privilege is difficult to see, especially when you have it.
Check out this post from YoungFemaleScientist: Insidious, hard to quantify, Gender Discrimination. (It's long.)
I don't know why we keep expecting men to get it. Seriously, it's rare for a white man in a position of power, even those who are supposedly enlightened to get their privilege. It does happen, for example, my current boss is an awesome mentor to graduate students of all genders, races, and so on, but it's rare. In some sense I don't blame them, privilege is difficult to see. As a white woman I rarely notice my white privilege, except when a person of color talks about their experiences of discrimination.
It really isn't that mysterious. Imagine older, male mentor and young, somewhat geeky, but still "nubile"(I hate that word) female grad student working long hours together in the lab or slaving over ancient tombs. If this was a movie, what happens next? William Deresiewicz knows.
If you were an older male professor faced with uncomfortably attractive young grad students, what would your reaction be? Make sure the office door stays open. Whatever you do, don't go out to drinks after work. Keep things professional. Would the same be true with your male grad students?
I know, I'm being hetero-normative, but it's not a question of actual impropriety, it's just appearances. The point is the privilege is invisible. You are a male grad student and you "hang out" with your adviser. Your adviser thinks of you as a younger version of himself, people who are different, who think differently make him uncomfortable. Most likely he doesn't realize this. He can't help his feelings, but they affect his attitude towards his students, how much time he spends with them, how enthusiastic he is.
I happens, even when there is no conscious intention to discriminate. Networking opportunities become limited. Older faculty are uncomfortable. Young men and women don't see what's going wrong.
I don't know why we keep expecting men to get it. Seriously, it's rare for a white man in a position of power, even those who are supposedly enlightened to get their privilege. It does happen, for example, my current boss is an awesome mentor to graduate students of all genders, races, and so on, but it's rare. In some sense I don't blame them, privilege is difficult to see. As a white woman I rarely notice my white privilege, except when a person of color talks about their experiences of discrimination.
It really isn't that mysterious. Imagine older, male mentor and young, somewhat geeky, but still "nubile"(I hate that word) female grad student working long hours together in the lab or slaving over ancient tombs. If this was a movie, what happens next? William Deresiewicz knows.
If you were an older male professor faced with uncomfortably attractive young grad students, what would your reaction be? Make sure the office door stays open. Whatever you do, don't go out to drinks after work. Keep things professional. Would the same be true with your male grad students?
I know, I'm being hetero-normative, but it's not a question of actual impropriety, it's just appearances. The point is the privilege is invisible. You are a male grad student and you "hang out" with your adviser. Your adviser thinks of you as a younger version of himself, people who are different, who think differently make him uncomfortable. Most likely he doesn't realize this. He can't help his feelings, but they affect his attitude towards his students, how much time he spends with them, how enthusiastic he is.
I happens, even when there is no conscious intention to discriminate. Networking opportunities become limited. Older faculty are uncomfortable. Young men and women don't see what's going wrong.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
When did middle class white mothers become the bad guys?
Last year I saw three movies with the same antagonist, the "uptight" upper middle class white mom. Seeing them in temporal proximity brought the theme to the forefront of my mind and for some reason, I started ranting about it to my friend today. The movies are American Beauty, Spanglish, and Radiant City (a "documentary.") Each of these movies focuses around a particular family and in each, the uptight, controlling mom is portrayed as the cause of the stress the family is experiencing. I know blaming the mom is hardly a new theme in American culture, but this is demonization of a specific type of motherhood. I can understand the urge to critique the style of parenthood that involves living in lifeless suburbs and shuttling your children from one activity to another in your over-sized minivan, but can all this dysfunction in American culture really be placed on the shoulders of middle-class soccer moms?
Although I'm not a film scholar, I am very tempted to write seriously on this theme, because I'm convinced that suburbia has negatively affected women and children to a greater extent than men, but moms in particular are often portrayed as the driving force behind the current configuration of suburbia. The writers of these screenplays might want to read some Dolores Hayden, to learn a little more about the relationships between gender, housing, and family life.
My question to you, dear readers, is, "Can you think of any other movies critical of suburbia and motherhood?"
Possibilities:
the wife in The Truman Show
Claire Wellington in The Stepford Wives (2004 version)
Saturday, April 14, 2007
People who are too nice
Profgrrrl posted the question "Evil or Insane?" I have quite a bit of experience in this area. One of my employers/mentors here at Big Ag. U. was crazy making in a similar way.
For whatever reason she was so vague about what work she wanted you to accomplish that it was almost impossible to get anything of consiqence done. If you attempted to actually do something and then show her what you had done, then she would look at it and enevitably tell you what you had done wasn't at all what she had been thinking. Then you would change your work to conform to her requirements and the next time you showed it to her she would want you to change it back.
She was also OCD about the office in a very strange way. Things had to be out and visible so that she could find them, if you made any attempt to organize the office she would become irate. She would also come in and reorganize you desk and computer files while you weren't in the office.
I worked for her for over a year and got almost nothing done. Besides feeling really guilty for taking her money, I decided that her "games" were distracting me from getting any real research done. After six month she still emails me to try to get me back participating in her "projects."
Is she insane? I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure that she's not conscious of the effects of what she does. She seems to genuinely want to do good and help people, but she makes me crazy.
Friday, February 16, 2007
You read what?
I read comic books and I'm not afraid to admit it! This week I picked up some new issues of Strangers in Paradise from the comic book store. I read some other comic strips online, but SIP is the main comic I pay money for.
Say you find yourself, like I did, with a geeky, yet oh so lovable boyfriend and so you mysteriously end up standing around in a comic book store, bored out of your mind. I highly recommend picking up the first issue of SIP, just to give you something to do while you wait. I was almost immediately hooked on the characters, but what keeps me coming back for new issues is the dramatic storylines. (I was going to describe them as "soap-opera-ish" but these days there are a lot of programs that aren't soap operas that have similar plot devices-Heroes, Lost, 24. Literary experts help me out, what is a good word to describe long, drawn out dramatic plot twists?)
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