Wednesday, November 21, 2007

One Day Until Thanksgiving...

Beorn and I went out to lunch at an Afgani buffet. As we walked back into our little cottage we discussed the fact that we are expecting a call from my father. After all the drama over the summer with my family Beorn and I agreed not to spend the holidays we them. My father never tells me the family plans until a day before the event. We already made plans to have Thanksgiving with another couple and Ian's best friend. So I wasn't surprised to find a message on my cell phone from my father. He called while we were out. He's feeling really bad if he didn't tell me about the Thanksgiving plans, of course he can't remember. He wants us to come to dinner at my grandmother's house. My uncle is cooking. The uncle who threatened to kill my father. The uncle who threated to call the cops on us or to sue us. The uncle who called us "welfare cases." Guess what? I'm not interested in breaking bread with him. My father seems to think it's OK for my uncle to behave that way. My uncle has my phone number, if he wants me to come to dinner he can damn well call me and apologize. I can't believe my father thinks I would be willing to sit down to dinner with my uncle. If I was at all important to my father I think I would rate more than a last minute call attempting to guilt trip me into spending Thanksgiving with them.

6 comments:

JustMe said...

good for you for ignoring them, i can't believe how your uncle treated you.. happy thanksgiving to you both!

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

I think having plans with friends is a great idea.

I also kind of hope your uncle asks why you weren't at Turkey Day -- just so you can tell him that you have a general rule against eating the food of someone who insults you and threatens to sue...

Frankly, after the way he treated you and your grandmother, I'm shocked he is still part of the family at all...

Breena Ronan said...

Yah, what frustrates me is the fact that my father tolerates his brother's behavior. When I talked to him on the phone this afternoon he said, "Oh, well the fact that I asked you at the last minute will be a good excuse as to why you couldn't come." I wish he would just be honest instead. He also tried to guilt trip me, "Couldn't you just drop by?" No, no, no I cannot just drop by!

wil said...

Family + holidays -- I feel for you.

I think it's great to do your own thing for the holidays. It can be challenging to break out and create new holiday traditions/practices, but also really rewarding. Happy Thanksgiving!

Breena Ronan said...

Thanks wil! Sometimes it's fun to do things differently. We have been having tamales and other Mexican style dishes for Christmas with my mom because she has food sensitives (even though we are white.) At other times I feel like an orphan or something, I get jealous of folks who get along with their families. I hate it when people say "all families are dysfunctional," that does not help. All families have their ups and downs , but some are tolerably functional and some are not.

wil said...

Mexican food for Christmas? Sounds delicious! Tamales, enchiladas...mmmm.

I'm very grateful to have a "tolerably functional" (I like your phrase) family. We have our problems, but we basically get along.

But I'm jealous of people that have close friends!