Ragnell's comment reminded me that I have been meaning to post something about the science fiction I have been reading and watching lately. I really enjoy thinking and writing about the themes in sci-fi/fantasy, but I'm kind of a workaholic, so sometimes I forget to think about anything beyond my graduate school work/issues.
Over winter break Beorn and I watched the new BBC version of Terry Pratchet's The Hogfather. I had never read the book, although I have read some other things by Pratchet. Ian Richardson is perfect as the voice of death. I think this may be a new Christmas classic for our little family. It was funny, had a strong female hero, and a message about the true meaning of Christmas.
We also watched the new Doctor Who Christmas special, "The Runaway Bride." Generally I have enjoyed the new Doctor Who episodes, despite their not being very feminist friendly, but I was disappointed with this episode. The plot was too implausible, even for a Doctor Who, and the "runaway bride" was annoying as hell. Unlike the Doctor's regular companions, who love being dragged all over the universe never knowing where or when they will end up, or who will be trying to kill them, she wasn't happy at all. She basically whined and complained through the whole episode, which ruined the fun for me.
I love the BBC though. Sometimes I think I should move to Britain just so that I could watch British TV. Did you know that the new Battlestar Galactica was jointly produced by the BBC and the Sci-Fi Channel? (I was wondering how they could afford such high production values.)
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Sci-Fi/Fantasy Fun
Monday, January 08, 2007
Government Job Applications
Ever applied for a government job? Couldn't they just look at my resume first? Seriously, why do they need to know where I went to high school? And why make a web form that involves me filling out numerous separate fields for each job I have ever had? That would be fine if I only had to do it once, but it looks like I will have to do it over and over for each job I want to apply for. It means an hour+ for each job.
Personality Test
I think this is what I always get. It says I could be a writer, but I feel like I'm constantly struggling with my feelings of inadequacy when it comes to writing. I generally don't have impostor syndrome, I think of myself as fairly intelligent, even in comparison to others in grad school, but when I comes to writing I feel like I don't know what I'm doing.
| You Are An INFP |
The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. |
Last seen at Anastasia's
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Abstract accepted
Um, I just got an email that my abstract has been accepted and I'll be presenting at my first conference this spring. Now I'm not sure whether to be happy or freaked out.
Academic Crossroads
I'm getting close to being done with my M.A. degree and so I need to decide whether to continue on in the PhD program. I very conflicted about this. It's difficult to get any honest advice from faculty. I shouldn't really say that they lack honesty, it's just that they are trying to be nice and not get too involved in my decision. I can understand. So far I have talked with three different professors but I don't feel any closer to a decision.
My adviser was the most honest I think. In our field there are lots of jobs at the moment, so she encouraged me to take a break and work in an office for a while to see if I like it. She thinks I can always come back for the PhD. Unfortunately, I got some less than perfect advice when I started grad school and so despite having a graduate degree in my field, I don't have a "professional" degree and as a result my ability to get a job in an office and eventually get a professional certification is in doubt. Basically, despite having taken the classes and gained the skills, the university won't give me the piece of paper. Theoretically I could reapply to the university as an undergrad and spend a year and $20,000 to get the correct piece of paper, but I don't have $20,000 and I'm not at all sure that I could get financial aid for a second bachelor's degree. Right now, since Beorn is an undergrad, our main source of income is my salary from research assistant/teaching assistant positions.
On the other hand, the graduate degree adviser told me that I should be able to finish my PhD in two more years, since I'm taking three years to finish my MA. In his opinion that schedule would put me "back on track," academically. Sounds great, except would I be able to find a job? At that point Beorn would be starting grad school and I would be starting an academic job search. How realistic would that be? Although I have been able to constantly find RA/TA work, I don't have any funding for my research and it seems doubtful that I'll get much help getting funding, so how much time am I going to have in the next few years to concentrate on getting published?
Professor #3, who gave me the bad advice at the beginning of my grad program, seemed convinced that I should pursue a PhD, but was totally clueless about the financial difficulties/sacrifices that this might entail. He said things like, "you do a PhD because you have a burning desire to find out something about the world." Great, I know that I have lots of intellectual curiosity and that I can work hard, but I also want things like kids and a house and a decent standard of living. He also seemed to think that I should go elsewhere for my PhD because I have already gotten the benefit of the experience/knowledge of the professors at this U. and so I could go to another U. and learn more from other profs. If I had unlimited time and money I could spend the rest of my life in school, bowing at the feet of these intellectual giants. When I pointed out the difficulty of a household with dual academic careers he said, "what's the problem, I know lots of people that have done that." So because you know some people who have done it, it must be no problem? What about all the people that struggle and have trouble?
My problem with getting advice from these people is that they all have cushy jobs at a R1 university. They are the lucky ones. In fact, until recently professors in my field didn't get PhDs, so two of these people don't have PhDs. The other one has a PhD in a vaguely related field and had a professorship at Big Ag U. in that field. He decided that he liked this field better and managed to get his professorship transfered into this department. So he actually has a lot less practical/professional experience in this field than I do (he's very well respected and productive on the theoretical side though.) Also, these professors come from privileged backgrounds, so I think they have little idea about struggling financially, or balancing work for money with school and family life.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Fun photos
I feel a little guilty about that last post, so to counteract the long, boring post all about me and my illnesses I thought I would post a couple of funny photos.
Earlier I posted picture of the Princess relaxing in the printer, but now BOK has decided the printer is his new favorite place to lounge.
Beorn and I also had some fun over the break making gingerbread cookies. It all started out innocently enough with gingerbread men and Christmas trees, but quickly turned creative. Beorn decided the star cookies needed a hammer and sickle. I don't know how he made to pac-man cookies since we don't have pac-man cookie cutters.
I also had a lot of fun during my vacation reading food-porn blogs. I wish I could take photos like Lex Culinaria or Nicky of delicious: days. After reading this collection of posts on making chocolate truffles I decided to pick the strangest ones and try making them. The mexican chocolate truffles with actual cayenne and cinnamon turned out a touch too spice for my taste. The wasabi-ginger truffles weren't as bad as they sound, but ginger truffles without wasabi would be better. Most surprisingly, the earl grey tea truffles were delicious! Yum.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Happy New Year!
My 2007 isn't starting promisingly. I caught a cold a few days before new years and then it developed into laryngitis. Today was my first migraine of the year and the quarter hasn't even started.
When I worked at the science center I developed laryngitis almost any time I got a cold. On a physical level this was probably from stressing my voice by talking all day, but on an emotional/psychic level I think my body developed this as a defense mechanism. Despite officially having sick days I was frequently guilt tripped by my boss into working while sick. Since my job involved a lot of talking if I lost my voice I couldn't work. This theory doesn't explain my current case since I haven't been working or talking all that much.
The migraines seem to be triggered by stress/anxiety. Yesterday I spent way too much time thinking about my job prospects and degree plans. Beorn is currently an undergrad but wants to go to grad school ASAP. If he applies next fall we might be moving to another part of the country during the summer of 2008. It seems unlikely that I would be finished with my PhD at that point. Even if I was, I would want to be looking for academic jobs, not following him to grad school. So my thought recently has been to finish my masters degree and spend some time working. This frightens me because I don't want to get stuck in the wrong job. So I start thinking that I need to take more classes and collect more job skills. Really my problem is focus, if I could just decide what type of job I really want, I might be more able to get the skills I need to get that job. Unfortunately, I'm always conflicted between going for my ideal job and going for the safe job. This is how my anxiety works, it gets me going around in circles, until I give myself a migraine.
So I spent the day taking doses of Imitrex. Imitrex works sometimes, but I usually feel worse for about an hour before it gets better. Then if the first dose doesn't work, after two hours, you can take a second dose. After the second dose took effect I felt exhausted and laid down for a nap. Lucky for me I didn't have anything important to do today. It got me thinking though, there really isn't an effective medication for preventing migraines and while the Imitrex cuts the migraine short (otherwise they frequently last 24-48 hours) it still takes a big chuck out of my day. There really isn't an effective prevention medication. The only realistic solution? Exercise.
So that's my new year's resolution, to exercise regularly. A number of studies have shown regular exercise to reduce migraine frequency by around 50%. It's also shown to significantly reduce anxiety and depression symptoms. Exercise for mental health and pain reduction! Part of me still hopes to lose a bunch of weight, but I'm trying to put that out of my mind.
